How many times have I said that to myself? How many failed attempts? Can I call it a failed attempt if I said tomorrow is my start date and never actually started? For me, this journey is all about feeling better. It's been such a tough, sad year. R died without a will. He was 50. He was a single father. His daughter was half way through her first year at university in a town a couple of hours from the city.
Before R died, I had bursts of fitness. At a couple of points over the years I was very fit. But I've never sustained that level of fitness for very long. I'd go full steam ahead for a couple days, a couple weeks, a couple months but always with the goal of losing weight. What I think about now, when I think about hitting the gym again is how it made me feel. I want that feeling again. I need that feeling again. I don't care about my weight, even though I'm the heaviest I've ever been. Weird even writing that because ideally, I should be 30 (give or take) pounds lighter than I am right now. But it's so not about that. I want to be fit and firm because it felt great when I was there before. I felt great when I was there before.
And let's face it, I'm 50 years old. How many more kicks at the can will I get? I know, fifty isn't old but I want to get seriously fit, not body builder fit but seriously fit and time is ticking.
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