If I had to use one word to describe the predominate feeling in my life right now it would be 'conflicted'. Being hurt and angry makes every encounter a conflict of some sort. These are my go to emotions. I can't blame it all on grief. I've been here before, in some way this is part of my DNA. The grief only intensifies it all.
I don't like where I am right now. And nothing changes if nothing changes. I no longer want to be (or need to be) at the whim of every slight, every insane co-worker, every rude client. I no longer want to blame this hurt and anger on the twist and turns in life that don't suit me. I want to own it.
Acceptance is the answer. The only hurdle is self acceptance because, unfortunately or not, charity begins at home.
I have to move forward. And I sense that self acceptance is a hugh part of any lasting progress anyone makes. The bonus is that the journey is probably way more fun with self acceptance thrown in. And damn I need some fun.
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